Stopping Divorce is a Process of Love

This post was written by hookeste on March 31, 2010
Posted Under: General

This is the beginning of a wonderful new chapter in your marriage, one that isn't burdened with misunderstandings and insignificant arguments. Affirm to yourself everyday…I love my spouse and I really want to make this work.

4 Stop Divorce Tips

Do Things With Love

One thing to remember is that marriages aren't jobs and one of the simplest ways to wreck a marriage is by making everything feel like an obligation. It is important to find the give-and-take balance in your relationship but everything should be done willingly and from the heart.

Can you reminisce about the time when you were so in love and couldn't get enough of each other? You spoke passionately about marriage as well as the life you and your partner would have together. Nothing else mattered than being joined together as one in holy matrimony. You would have never thought that a day would come when you couldn't even sleep in the same bed because you are always the one cleaning up around the house and your spouse won't take out the trash.

When doing things that will please your partner, it's because of your affection for them and you want nothing but to make them happy. You mustn't be keeping a mental list of all the great things you have done for your partner and all the things that haven't been done for you. All relationships take work. However, it shouldn't feel like work.

Stop Nagging

We all know what nagging sounds like. Men are to blame as much as the women. Wives nag of extensive working hours, leaving messy clothes on the floor, time spent watching sports and drinking or not spending enough time with the family. At the same time, husbands whine about countless hours their wife spends on the telephone or getting ready, and they nag about their nagging wife! A fast way to resolve marriage issues is to simply quit nagging. Realize that nagging will not get anything done.

If there's something you disapprove about your partner or their behavior, determine the root of your concern. Look for reasons why this concerns you, as well as why are they behaving this way. Could the blame be partly yours? What should you do to aid the situation? What compromises are you willing to make? Ask, What can I do to fix my marriage? Be sensible and then approach your partner and hash things out. Excessive complaining can cause great conflict to your relationship.

Think Before Speaking

Whenever you are feeling angry or bitter, try to remember that saying spiteful or hurtful things will not repair your marriage problems. The matter will only get worse. Think before speaking because words, once said aloud, can never be taken back. Will hurting your spouse make you feel better ? Definitely not! There is no reason to say mean things at all.

Nothing's wrong about wanting to confront your spouse concerning things that are bothersome to you. However, do so after the initial flood of anger and hostility has quieted and you are capable of discussing matters rationally.

Fixing marriage is never a one-sided situation. For a marriage to be successful, a shared desire to make compromises should be present. As long as this promise remains true in your heart, no obstacle is too difficult to conquer.

Avoid Verbal Abuse

Be cautious and avoid verbally abusing your spouse. Words can cause great disturbances, especially in a marriage. If you're the type of person who loses their temper easily and is prone to lash out at your spouse, you need to shift your behavior immediately. In time, the verbal abuse will result to an emotional toll on you or your partner. You might believe that they were “just words”, but be certain that your spouse won't forget them.

The person attacked with verbal abuse can be awfully affected making it difficult for him or her to forget. Verbal abuse of any kind must be controlled if  you wish to fix the problems between you and your spouse.

These are just some of countless examples of what can cause a marriage to tear apart. Each action is not just cruel, but also tremendously disrespectful. If you truly love your spouse, why would you want to upset them? If you really wish to have a healthy, happy relationship and fix marriage without a divorce, ask yourself if you're doing anything negative to your relationship comparable to the above examples. Is you answered yes to this question, then it's time to do whatever you can to make changes. Your marriage will thank you kindly!

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